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EEVblog #912 - BM235 Multimeter Reverse Engineering (2016-08-19 14:53:50)
brune @ 2016-08-19 14:53:50 from 185.15.74.2
https://youtu.be/UKIzhz0XLaQ
shelvacufor 7 timer siden I always make sure to get 1% 0 ohm resistors, the 5% ones just aren't accurate enough.
EEVblog EEVblog for 6 timer siden Yeah, trap for young players.
Brandon MacEachern Brandon MacEachernfor 5 timer siden This just made me snort out beer out my nose. Thanks!
Sami Haapaniemi Sami Haapaniemifor 1 time siden This is really important. Otherwise you could end up with a negative resistance as these tolerances work both ways!
VMware according to Dirty Harry (2016-08-11 08:13:27)
brune @ 2016-08-11 08:13:27 from 185.15.74.2
I know what you're thinking. "Did he regression test six modules or only five?" Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a critical patch you need to apply to fix the last set of bugs we released and could blow your entire compute environment clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?
Ulms kaffe-poesi (2016-02-15 09:58:59)
brune @ 2016-02-15 09:58:59 from 87.48.158.178
Oh kaffe, oh kaffe
brygget i den 9. himmel
Du sk�nker mig �jne �bne
du g�r mig h�j, du g�r mig svimmel

Du er mit livs materie
du er mit hjertes r�st
Du fjerner s�vnen fra min �jne
du er min hverdags tr�st

Jeg elsker dig, oh kaffe,
s� str�k og sort
Du sk�nker mig gl�den
n�r livet er h�rdt
(at mit maves�r vokser
fra det ser vi bort)

Vi forsager teen, og alle dens smagsvarianter og al dens farve
Vi tror kaffen, den alm�gtige, koffeinens og duftens b�rer.
Vi tror p� columbianske, b�nnens ypperligeste form, vor herre,
som er undfanget fra planten, ristet i den hellige ild, kv�rnet i m�llen,
pulveriseret, varmet og brygget, oph�ldt i koppen, p� tredjeminuttet konsumeret af koppens b�rer, bringende af den m�gtige koffein til maven, hvorfra den skal opkvikke, tr�tte s�vel som friske.
Vi tror p� espresso, den hellige almindelige morgentj�re, kaffevragenes samfund, tr�thedens forladelse, koffeinens opkvikkelse og det evige kick.

Kaffe vor
Du som er i koppen
Helliget vorde din smag
Komme din virkning
Ske din effekt i hovedet
S�ledes ogs� i maven
Giv os i dag vort daglige kick
Og forlad vor te
Som ogs� vi forsager alle tedrikkere
Og led ikke ind i misbrug
men fri os fra de-caff.
Thi din er smagen
duften og kicket
i evighed.

Amen.
Bullshit (2015-02-09 09:19:14)
brune @ 2015-02-09 09:19:14 from 87.48.158.178
Er det ikke smukt. Fandt denne da jeg besluttede mig for at lave en BS-liste over lange ord.
Tågegenerator: http://www.omatskrive.dk/tekster/Taagegenerator.html
Spindoktor: http://www.omatskrive.dk/tekster/Spindoktor.html
BS-listen fik lige to nye ord fra EU-traktat om de-minimis regler:
Ord: Bruttosubventionsækvivalenten, kvasiegenkapitalinvesteringer
Link: http://ec.europa.eu/competition/state_aid/legislation/de_minimis_regulation_da.pdf
All your bases are belong .... (2014-06-23 11:46:19)
anallan @ 2009-09-27 12:12:41 from 130.226.29.164
Dette lille omgang tankespind er inspireret af vores noget bRune helt med denne hjemmeside. Han indkøbte en DVD-afspiller, hvor der medfulgte en manual på dansk (eller noget....) I denne post opfordres til at finde meget sorte oversættelser, hvor det lyser ud af sætningen at det enten er små risgnaskere der skamferer det engelske sprog eller en digital oversætter, hvis ordforåd og sætningsstruktur er værre end en spritter på druk i Nyhavn..
D sætninger fandt jeg under en bundkortssøgning på Microstar's hjemmeside:
Citat: "Supports up to 3200+, 3400+, or higher CPU." [Op til eller højere.. Hmmm...]
Citat: "nForce2 only NOT support x4 memory device. 1GB can be made by other density of DRAM chip such as x 8, x16." [Så vidt jeg ved er tæthed ikke det helt korrekte ord, og ordstillingen ... Tja..]
Kom løs og reply her når I finder nogle derude......
brune @ 2005-02-11 09:02:14 from 192.38.69.237
[BabelFish: german->english] As long as the vfat Dateisystem is gemountet.
brune @ 2005-02-11 09:04:24 from 192.38.69.237
Og nu knækkede filmen så helt:
Who works with a 2.4.x-Kernel and whose vfat partition is accordingly filled, it may make itself calm therefore on the fact that written data are lost in again provided listings to the Unmounten. The files concerned have the file size 0 and the cluster after the renewed Mounten to hang in air. With dosfsck one can delete the unzugeordneten cluster.
brune @ 2007-03-12 17:46:38 from 192.168.1.19
Fra Philip modtog jeg dette link til endnu en undersættelse:
http://www.cigarfar.dk/kntr.gif
brune @ 2007-03-21 12:04:23 from 87.48.158.178
I et fælles-eventyr oversættes DVD specifikationen:
Påstå-i-den-kunst = state-of-the-art
fremskreden 10 bit video D/A = Advanced 10 bit video D/A
500 linier i horisontal dagsorden = 500 lines horizontal resolution
Mangfoldige = Multiple
Indfaldsvinkel = Angle
Lokke digital arbejdsydelse ~ "besnærende/flok | tempting" digital audio
brune @ 2007-08-10 11:52:19 from 192.168.1.19
Og JP kastede dette min vej:
http://members.nextra.at/aquaculture/pontons/afrivning.htm
brune @ 2014-06-23 11:46:19 from 89.236.3.144
"Fuck Vegetables" ?!?!?
http://www.seenox.com/2014/05/29/40-bloodcurdling-chinese-mistranslations-ever/
Barney Stinsons job (2014-02-14 09:41:17)
brune @ 2014-02-14 09:41:17 from 87.48.158.178
P.L.E.A.S.E. Provide Legal Exculpation and Sign Everything.
How I Met Your Mother
C++ (2013-08-28 20:44:34)
rmb @ 2013-08-28 20:44:34 from 89.236.59.15
C++ stops short of allowing the programmer to create new operators. You cannot define :-: as an operator; you have to stick to the predefined set. If Bjarne Stroustrup had been more ambitious on this aspect, C++ could have beaten Perl by 10 years to become the world's second write-only programming language, after APL.
http://queue.acm.org/detail.cfm?id=1871406
Sandheden om pirater (2009-09-27 12:13:23)
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 89.236.59.15
You see this was a HUGE problem for the pirates back in the day. Much like today, homosexuals had little signals they would use to indicate to other homosexuals of their sexual standing. The thing was, many of the gay pirate signals were used by straight pirates in a completely different way.

The straight pirate would say "Plunder me booty" meaning he is going to gather up his treasure. The gay pirate would say "Plunder me booty" meaning he literally wants you to plunder his booty. As you can imagine, this caused an insane amount of fights between the pirate population, because they would either be taking down their pants or getting out their saber. Nearly half of the pirate population was gay at the time, and the closet pirates tried to hide behind that macho 'rape and pillage' façade. I mean, come on. A ship full of guys...Dirty, horny guys. You know what I'm talking about.

Another language stumbling block for the pirates was the now stereotypical "arghh" and "arghh matey" that every pirate seemed to say. The straight pirate would say "arghhh" as a challenge to another pirate (mostly over booty, take your pick as to what kind of booty). The gay pirate however would say "arghh?" as a come on line and as a test to see if the other pirate was gay. Well the straight pirate would take this as a challenge to his own "arghh" and would respond with an even bigger "ARGHHHH". Well that was it for the gay pirate, the pants were coming down. Then the gay pirate would of course be run threw, and the straight pirate would be traumatized until he himself realized like all the other pirates, he was gay too.

And so goes the legacy of the pirates: Plunderers of booty, and dirty guys with big swords who knew how to use them.
Gude-kaffe (2009-09-27 12:13:23)
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 192.168.1.19
Fra engrish.com
http://engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=godcoffee.jpg&category=Drinks&date=2003-03-26
Bevis på eksistens af Rune-kloner? (2009-09-27 12:13:23)
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 89.236.59.15
bohr(s022026) $ finger barnkob
Login name: s002292                     In real life: Mark Barnkob
Directory: /gbar/hald/home3/s00/s002292 Shell: /bin/bash
Last login Thu Sep 30 10:19 on pts/11 from x1-6-00-02-3f-6
No unread mail
No Plan.
Login name: s032091 (messages off) In real life: Rune Barnkob Directory: /gbar/bohr/home2/s03/s032091 Shell: /bin/bash On since Oct 19 10:59:05 on pts/18 from gray1:475.0 4 hours 0 minutes Idle Time No unread mail No Plan.
Login name: s032091 (messages off) In real life: Rune Barnkob Directory: /gbar/bohr/home2/s03/s032091 Shell: /bin/bash On since Oct 19 10:00:49 on pts/62 from gray1:475.0 3 hours 3 minutes Idle Time
Login name: s032091 (messages off) In real life: Rune Barnkob Directory: /gbar/bohr/home2/s03/s032091 Shell: /bin/bash On since Oct 19 11:56:49 on pts/131 from gray1:475.0 3 hours 2 minutes Idle Time
Login name: s973431 In real life: Rune Moeller Barnkob Directory: /bbar/bs1/home1/s97/bohr(s022026) $ finger barnkob Login name: s002292 In real life: Mark Barnkob Directory: /gbar/hald/home3/s00/s002292 Shell: /bin/bash Last login Thu Sep 30 10:19 on pts/11 from x1-6-00-02-3f-6 No unread mail No Plan.
Vor trosbekendelse (2009-09-27 12:13:23)
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 89.236.59.15
Lad os alle bede.
Vi forsager teen, og alle dens smagsvarianter og al dens farve
Vi tror kaffen, den almægtige, koffeinens og duftens bærer.
Vi tror på columbianske, bønnens ypperligeste form, vor herre, som er undfanget fra planten, ristet i den hellige ild, kværnet i møllen, pulveriseret, varmet og brygget, ophældt i koppen, på tredjeminuttet konsumeret af koppens bærer, bringende af den mægtige koffein til maven, hvorfra den skal opkvikke, trætte såvel som friske.
Vi tror på espresso, den hellige almindelige morgentjære, kaffevragenes samfund, træthedens forladelse, koffeinens opkvikkelse og det evige kick.

Kaffe vor
Du som er i koppen Helliget vorde din smag
Komme din virkning
Ske din effekt i hovedet
Således også i maven
Giv os i dag vort daglige kick
Og forlad vor te
Som også vi forsager alle tedrikkere
Og led ikke ind i misbrug
men fri os fra de-caff.
Thi din er smagen
duften og kicket
i evighed.

Amen.
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 89.236.59.15
By caffeine alone do I set my mind in motion.
By the beans of java do the thougths acquire speed
do the hands acquire shaking
the shaking becomes a warning;
by caffeine alone do I set my mind in motion.
Det almindelige nødvendighedsaksiom (2009-09-27 12:13:23)
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 89.236.59.15
Stress-faktoren, S, i et arbitrært projekt, kan beskrives ved ligningen:

S = (P^Z/K) * ((F/T) * N)

Hvor P er antallet af delprojekter, opløftet i Z, den reciprokke værdi af antallet af bugs, der er tilbage i koden. (Z er altid en ubekendt variabel. Hvis Z er kendt, gælder at Z = Z + 1) K er gennemsnitskompetencen af de folk, som arbejder på projektet (hvor for det gælder at P befinder sig i intervallet [1,0). Det gælder her at projektets stress-faktor kan stige uendeligt. Projektets stress-faktor skal dernæst multipliceres med F, antallet af grødhoveder i projektet over T, tiden til næste deadline. Endelig påmultipliceres der med N, antallet af computere der befinder sig inden for 400m af enhver computer der er direkte forbundet med projektet.
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 130.226.29.22
Mængden af data i en arbitrær søgemaskine eller database beskrives ved ligningen:
D = N - I
Hvor D er den gemte datamængde, N er alle relevante data og I er den information du søger
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 130.226.29.22
Prisen for et arbitrært computersystem K efter J år kan beskrives ved ligningen:
K > (J * (1000 + A/15)) + (1,5 * B) + A/20
Hvor A er ejerens nettoindtægt, og B er det beløb ejeren forventede at skulle bruge, for at hans computer ikke blev håbløst forældet
Gyldne kommentarer (2009-09-27 12:13:23)
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 89.236.59.15
[Basty] We germans love George Bush and we love America
[Basty] We love Bush because most germans like strong leaders who aren't democratically elected
[Basty] And I love america because there's finally a country the world hates more than us

Det er altid nemmere at acceptere en Socialdemokratisk regering... når den fører en borgerlig politik - Krøniken

Jeg har været oppe i supermarkedet. Der er masser af billig pasta, men deres bøffer re temmelig dyre - har i to drenge totalt meget brug for at få kød i den her uge? - Thea på skitur

Der er da kommet een god ting ud af spam mail... Jeg har fundet en masse dejlige open relay servere - Kristian i Caf-é

Dette gylle er skrevet på 100% genbrugte pixels
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 130.226.29.22
På en skala fra 1 til 10, hvor 1 er dårligst og 10 er bedst, hvor vil du placere 5
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 89.236.59.15
[23:10:31] <Aes> If they tour in Denmark again, we're a group of 30 and counting who's going. :D Rammstein + Beer = fun
[23:10:43] <M> Urgh, Rammstein.
[23:11:04] <Aes> Don't mind M. He lists his favourite music as "Country, and anything with the girl from Hanson" ;P
[23:11:42] <Nebulous> oooh burn
Produktindpakning (2009-09-27 12:13:23)
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 192.168.1.19
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUXnJraKM3k{/url]
Om TV (2009-09-27 12:13:23)
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 130.226.30.161
Jeg har det med at referere til wrestling som min "soap opera". Begge dele har folk med underlige navne og tvivlsomt skuespilstalent og plottene er lige umulige. Wrestling har bare mere action.
Hvis du... (2009-09-27 12:13:23)
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 89.236.59.15
hvis du ser en Pede smile, vær på vagt
for han kigger faktisk på dig med foragt
der er ingenting der haster,
hvis han ikk' har flammekaster
Hvis du ser en Pede smile, vær på vagt

hvis du ser en vred cafe vagt har du tabt
du vil ikke vær' den første vi har dræbt
der er ingen milde straffe
til de svin der hugger kaffe
hvis du ser en vred cafe vagt har du tabt
brune @ 2004-01-24 10:32:07 from 192.168.1.201
hvis hører pede handle så løb væk ellers ender du med hoved' i en sæk han har ikke nogle skrupler ved at sælge dig for rubler hvis du hører pede handle så løb væk
hvis du hører ofre skrige så løb bort ellers bliver livet hurtigt temmeli' kort der er ingen triste miner når han nøgne kroppe piner hvis du hører ofre skrige så løb bort
anallan @ 2009-09-27 12:12:41 from 89.236.59.15
Hvis du har et syret spørgsmål, så kom an.
For vi ved, at Philip er den rette mand.
Han er ikke bagom dansen,
men hvor fa’en er relevansen
Hvis du har et syret spørgsmål, så kom an.
anallan @ 2009-09-27 12:12:41 from 89.236.59.15
Hvis din skytsengel er JP, har du tabt.
Se nu bare, han skal hurtigt få dig dræbt!
Situationen føles bitter,
for han ruller nok en etter
Hvis din skytsengel er JP, har du tabt.
anallan @ 2009-09-27 12:12:41 from 89.236.59.15
Hvis du får et link af U, står du for skud.
Det er bedre at prikke dine øjne ud.
Det er ikke nogen ære,
de er temmelig vulgære.
Hvis du får et link af U, står du for skud.
anallan @ 2009-09-27 12:12:41 from 89.236.59.15
Hvis du hører Selnø grine, klag din nød.
Smøg i kæften, bind for øj'ne - du er død!
Du kan faktisk gøre NADA,
før du ender i et krater.
Hvis du hører Selnø grine, klag din nød.
anallan @ 2009-09-27 12:12:41 from 89.236.59.15
Hvis du hører Rune melde, så meld PAS!
Når han melder, er han skæv af lim og hash.
Du bli'r ikke sendt til tælling,
blot du ikke har tvangsmelding.
Hvis du hører Rune melde, så meld PAS!
anallan @ 2009-09-27 12:12:41 from 89.236.59.15
Hvis du skuer over bordet og ser en hat,
ved du meldingen, at den er dybt godnat.
Stik du tager - røv du sparker,
hvis du ikke bli'r hans makker.
Hvis du skuer over bordet og ser en hat,
anallan @ 2009-09-27 12:12:41 from 89.236.59.15
Hvis du ser en Allan smile, så stik af.
Ellers får du noget slemt op i din bag.
Du vil føle dig som taber,
når du hænger på hans svaber.
Hvis du ser en Allan smile, så stik af.
Stokastisk Rapportgenerators mening om portalen.dtu.dk (2009-09-27 12:13:23)
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 89.236.59.15
Initiativerne modarbejder aktiviteten, som eksternaliserer udpræget offentlige niveauer. Selvom softwaren kun vanskeligt berører effektiviteten, må man sikre at dette nok ikke udnytter undersøgelserne som sådan. De udtalt humanistiske koncernteknologier modsvarer ad omveje sammenhængen. Det konkluderes uden videre, at de konkrete lærings- og undervisningsmiljøer komplicerer traditionel og velstruktureret kommunikation. Samtlige analyser antyder at en projektorienteret kultur kendetegner systemanalysen.

Stokastisk Rapportgenerator ---> http://ellemose.dina.kvl.dk/cgi-bin/sestoft/forslag?
Så er man træt (2009-09-27 12:13:23)
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 89.236.59.15
[01:07] <PiB|koala\poker> suk
[01:07] <PiB|koala\poker> tabte en fullhouse med 3 knægte og to esser
[01:07] <PiB|koala\poker> så er livet fandme ikke fair
[01:07] <swap> haha :P
[01:07] <swap> hvad tabte du til?
[01:08] <PiB|koala\poker> 3 esser og to knægte :|
[01:08] <PiB|koala\poker> eller
[01:08] <swap> haha :P
[01:08] <PiB|koala\poker> nej hov
[01:08] <swap> øh hvordan det?
[01:08] <PiB|koala\poker> det ka jo ik passe
[01:08] <PiB|koala\poker> mm... mystisk :|
[01:08] <NiTe^> det har været et sjovt spil kort :P
[01:08] <DeepzOne> hghehe
Lufttætte rum (2009-09-27 12:13:08)
decipede @ 2009-09-27 12:13:08 from 192.168.1.150
Skulle man ende i et hermetisk lukket rum med andre mennesker, så kvæl dem med det samme - så er der mere luft til dig.
Useful Research Phrases and what they really mean (2009-09-27 12:13:08)
decipede @ 2009-09-27 12:13:08 from 89.236.59.15
"It has long been known" ...
I didn't look up the original reference.

"A definite trend is evident" ...
These data are practically meaningless.

"Of great theoretical and practical importance" ...
Interesting to me.

"While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions"
An unsuccessful experiment but I still have to get it published.

"Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study" ...
The results of the others didn't make any sense.

"Typical results are shown" ...
The best results are shown.

"These results will be shown in a subsequent report" ...
I might get around to this sometime if I'm pushed.

"The most reliable results are those obtained by Jones" ...
He was my graduate assistant.

"It is believed that" ...
I think

"It is generally believed that" ...
A couple of other guys think so, too.

"It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding occurs" ...
I don't understand it.

"Correct within an order of magnitude" ...
Wrong

"It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigations in this field" ...
This is a lousy paper, but so are all the others on this miserable topic.

"Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to George Frink for valuable assistance" ...
Blotz did the work and Frink explained to me what it meant.

"A careful analysis of obtainable data" ...
Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.
Madventures (2009-09-27 12:12:41)
anallan @ 2009-09-27 12:12:41 from 130.226.29.164
Hatman har nu præsteret at tage på skiferie uden at informere sin makker om hvad han har gjort i forbindelse med deres rapport, hvilket betød at makker ikke vidste om rapporten var afleveret eller hvad. Samtidig havde Hatman ikke sikret sig at makker havde en kopi af deres program, så makker kunne stå for demonstration af programmet!
anallan @ 2009-09-27 12:12:41 from 130.226.29.164
Så er Mr. Hatman på banen igen. Det er nu lykkedes tossen at låse sig selv ud af sin studiekonto. Han fik ændret koden, da den var for beværlig, men nu kan ikke huske den..... Hatman strammer den.. (altså hatten)....
brune @ 2004-12-02 08:58:19 from 192.38.69.237
Og endnu engang er den gal med hatten - vi var til Crazy Christmas Cabaret (CCC) og Hatman fik en lille smule at drikke - faktisk så meget at han fik påkaldt sig en af Tivoli-vagternes vrede ved at løbe hen over scenen i Glassalen iført lang trenchcoat og den obligatoriske Stenton hat (forestillingen hed iøvrigt "Who shot the sheriff - the wildest western on this side of Vesterbro"). Derudover var han utrolig overgearet resten af aftenen...
Gl. usenet joke (2009-09-27 12:11:57)
hatman @ 2009-09-27 12:11:57 from 130.225.92.237
In C, you merely shoot yourself in the foot.
In C++, you accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical care is impossible, because you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying, "That's me, over there."
Famous Last Words (2009-09-27 12:11:57)
hatman @ 2009-09-27 12:11:57 from 130.226.29.112
Hvad er egentlig pointen i at huske hvad folk sagde lige inden de udåndede???
Hvad end formålet er bringer jeg hermed tåbeligt og formålsløst (ægte hat) hatmans collection of infamous last words:
Tilfældig forbipasserende på Jallerup marked: "Pas På!!! Han har en hat!!!......"
Ved samme lejlighed sukkede en anden deltager til dette bizarre arrengement disse deprimerede og opgivende ord: "Hvad nytter det at advare os? Hvis vi kan se den er det allerede forse...."
Endelig vil jeg slutte af med noget rigtigt meningsløst, her er de sidste ord en mand der tog sig en tur i parken fik over læberne inden han på mystisk vis faldt om på jorden: *KNÆK*
Jeg ved ikke om dette tæller som det sidste ORD, men lyden blev frembragt i hans strube.... Godt nok ikke helt alene da han fik lidt hjælp af Pede som troskyldigt holdt hans strubehoved for ham mens han udåndede.. Hvor ædelt... Pede er i sandhed en af hverdagens små helte.
Indtil jeg kan finde noget mindre meningsløst, noget endnu farligere at skrive (eller hvis det endelig lykkes mig at sætte ild til Kampsax kælderen)
This is Hatman signing off!
Nørd jokes (2009-09-27 12:11:57)
hatman @ 2009-09-27 12:11:57 from 192.168.1.19
An engineer, physicist, and mathematician are all challenged with a problem: to fry an egg when there is a fire in the house. The engineer just grabs a huge bucket of water, runs over to the fire, and puts it out. The physicist thinks for a long while, and then measures a precise amount of water into a container. He takes it over to the fire, pours it on, and with the last drop the fire goes out. The mathematician pores over pencil and paper. After a few minutes he goes "Aha! A solution exists!" and goes back to frying the egg.
Sequel: This time they are asked simply to fry an egg (no fire). The engineer just does it, kludging along; the physicist calculates carefully and produces a carefully cooked egg; and the mathematician lights a fire in the corner, and says "I have reduced it to the previous problem."
Four professors (An engineer, a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the four professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.
"Brute force is the answer" says the engineer. "If we hit it enough we can put it out".
The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out."
The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants."
While they debate what course to take, they are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They all scream, "What are you doing?"
To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."
-- hugget fra xnybre.dk
brune @ 2013-11-15 15:04:57 from 89.236.59.15
A physicist, an engineer, and a computer scientist were discussing the nature of God.

“Surely a Physicist,” said the physicist, “because early in the Creation, God made Light; and you know, Maxwell's equations, the dual nature of electromagnetic waves, the relativistic consequences...”

“An Engineer!,” said the engineer, “because before making Light, God split the Chaos into Land and Water; it takes a hell of an engineer to handle that big amount of mud, and orderly separation of solids from liquids...”

The computer scientist shouted: “And the Chaos, where do you think it was coming from, hmm?”

Anonymous
Det er jo bare kaffe... (2009-09-27 12:11:57)
hatman @ 2009-09-27 12:11:57 from 192.168.1.19
.. Eller er det? Nu er det ikke godt nok at det smager godt.
http://www.damnfunnypictures.com/html/Coffee-Art.html
Citater (2007-08-21 07:41:20)
brune @ 2007-08-21 07:41:20 from 89.236.59.15
Jeg tænkte her at lave et indlæg med citater om programmering:

"There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works."
- Alan J. Perlis
  1. Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
  2. The easiest machine applications are the technical/scientific computations.
  3. The tools we use have a profound (and devious!) influence on our thinking habits, and, therefore, on our thinking abilities.
  4. FORTRAN --"the infantile disorder"--, by now nearly 20 years old, is hopelessly inadequate for whatever computer application you have in mind today: it is now too clumsy, too risky, and too expensive to use.
  5. PL/I --"the fatal disease"-- belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set.
  6. It is practically impossible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
  7. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offence.
  8. APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection. It is the language of the future for the programming techniques of the past: it creates a new generation of coding bums.
  9. The problems of business administration in general and data base management in particular are much too difficult for people that think in IBMerese, compounded with sloppy English.
  10. About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
  11. Besides a mathematical inclination, an exceptionally good mastery of one's native tongue is the most vital asset of a competent programmer.
  12. Many companies that have made themselves dependent on IBM-equipment (and in doing so have sold their soul to the devil) will collapse under the sheer weight of the unmastered complexity of their data processing systems.
  13. Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. Handwritten annotation
  14. We can found no scientific discipline, nor a hearty profession on the technical mistakes of the Department of Defense and, mainly, one computer manufacturer.
  15. The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
  16. By claiming that they can contribute to software engineering, the soft scientists make themselves even more ridiculous. (Not less dangerous, alas!) In spite of its name, software engineering requires (cruelly) hard science for its support.
  17. In the good old days physicists repeated each other's experiments, just to be sure. Today they stick to FORTRAN, so that they can share each other's programs, bugs included.
  18. Projects promoting programming in "natural language" are intrinsically doomed to fail.

- Edsger Dijkstra
brune @ 2013-12-24 14:34:43 from 192.168.1.19
Those who don't understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly.

- Henry Spencer
Diskussion om første programmeringssprog (2006-09-19 19:01:37)
brune @ 2006-09-19 19:01:37 from 192.168.1.19
6502 op-codes, hand assembled on graph paper into binary, then lovingly burned into ROM by flipping switches.

Switches? You had switches? F'in' Luxury!

We had to flip our relays with carefully manipulated horseshoe magnets which we had to extract from real horses. And we were bloody grateful, I tell you!

Pfft. N00b. We had to carry our ones and zeros uphill three miles through the snow. Each bit weighed 20 pounds, making each byte 160 pounds. But it was good for you and we ENJOYED it.

Ones, you had ones?!? We only had zero-bits and had to scratch all the excess data of it to make ones. Using our fingernails.

You were lucky to have zeroes. We didn't have ones and zeroes, we had to compute by counting the times the Druids flogged us at Stonehenge.
rmb @ 2013-08-14 17:47:00 from 192.168.1.19
Four Yorkshiremen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13JK5kChbRw
Citat fra Travtidende 1939 (2006-08-20 15:08:11)
brune @ 2006-08-20 15:08:11 from 89.236.59.15
"Hvordan føres der i Grunden Kontrol med, at ubefæstede Sjæle - Ungdommen under de 18 - ikke køber Bons i Stedet for Cigaretter og Chocolade for Lomme pengene. - Loven forbyder jo de unge Mennesker at gøre Indskud?"
Stramninger af DMCA (2006-04-27 07:41:41)
brune @ 2006-04-27 07:41:41 from 193.162.192.11
I USA arbejdes på en stramning af Digital Millenium Copyright Act (DMCA), der blandt andet vil øge straframmen til 10 år (så det nu er billigere at stjæle CDen i butikken end at downloade den fra nettet?!?!). Citat fra Cnet news.com:
During a speech in November, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales endorsed the idea and said at the time that he would send Congress draft legislation. Such changes are necessary because new technology is "encouraging large-scale criminal enterprises to get involved in intellectual-property theft," Gonzales said, adding that proceeds from the illicit businesses are used, "quite frankly, to fund terrorism activities."
Forkortelser (2005-12-27 08:49:34)
brune @ 2005-12-27 08:49:34 from 193.162.192.11
ODB: okkult DataBehandling
Linux changelog for 2.6.15-rc5 (2005-12-04 11:48:43)
brune @ 2005-12-04 11:48:43 from 87.48.158.178
commit 436b0f76f2cee6617f27a649637766628909dd5d
Author: Linus Torvalds 
Date: Sat Dec 3 21:10:42 2005 -0800
Linux v2.6.15-rc5 Hey, for no other reason than the fact that I'll be off-line for a week. Of course, I could force everybody to just use git (and when I'm emperor of the world, don't think I won't!), but it seems some people want to just test official releases. Even if they are just -rc's. By the time I'm back, Andrew will have fixed all my bugs, and I'll release it as 2.6.15 and take all the credit. Mwahahahaaa Signed-off-by: Linus Torvalds
KraftPlet observationen (2005-10-28 18:57:55)
brune @ 2005-10-28 18:57:55 from 192.168.1.94
The uselessness of a meeting is directly proportional to the complexity of the PowerPoint presentation. If you want to quote me on that in the future, mark it down as Jem's Law.
Et lille digt (2005-05-03 13:34:42)
brune @ 2005-05-03 13:34:42 from 89.236.59.15
En sagte rumlen
Et smertende jag
En indre tumlen
En ængstelig bag
Nu fæces flyder
Fra ringmusklen slap
Jeg evigt fortryder
Den chili-kebab

/U
Parkinsons law reformulated (2004-12-02 09:04:00)
brune @ 2004-12-02 09:04:00 from 87.48.158.178
Some people have commented that the amount of noise generated by a change is inversely proportional to the complexity of the change.
http://www.freebsd.org/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/faq/misc.html#idp77293488
En _meget_ gammel Unix joke fra /. (2004-10-27 09:24:26)
brune @ 2004-10-27 09:24:26 from 89.236.59.15
Sex the unix way:
unzip ; strip ; touch ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more; yes ; umount ; sleep

by LedZeplin (41206) on Tuesday October 26, @05:06PM (#10635160)
I hope you mounted read-only. everyone knows it's dangerous to fsck a mounted filesystem.

by Nasheer (179086) on Tuesday October 26, @09:29PM (#10637661)
Yeah, yeash... And after nine months spawns a child process...

by corsec67 (627446) <corsec AT gamebox DOT net> on Tuesday October 26, @10:27PM (#10638025)
NO NO NO!!! If you do that, you will get in SERIOUS trouble. Didn't your programming professor tell you to check return values? that should be:
unzip && strip && touch && finger && mount && fsck && more && yes && umount && sleep
otherwise, you will continue even if the previous action fails, and that would be sexual assault.
RFC forslag (2004-10-17 18:42:10)
brune @ 2004-10-17 18:42:10 from 89.236.59.15
Rune siger: random packet losing algorithms using cold potato logic - quality of drops?
Kaffemafiaen siger: Implementations of arbitrarily high values of 42 in cryptography schemes?
Rune siger: effect of hunting season to avionic IP datagram delivery - implication on QoS delivery
Kaffemafiaen siger: Security through idiocy - a throughough analysis of protections schemes too useless for an intruder to consider likely
Rune siger: Distributed packet Observation in General networks - DOG
Kaffemafiaen siger: DOG har potentiale...
Kaffemafiaen siger: Baseline Effect Extremities Research
Rune siger: det er jo et helt felt på flere internationale universiteter
Kaffemafiaen siger: Så afgjort
Rune siger: Department of Random Universal NetworKs
Kaffemafiaen siger: Coefficients Of Free Functional Experimental Effects
Rune siger: Internet Department of Inventions Or Tests Submissions
Kaffemafiaen siger: Generic Ordinance Distribution
Rune siger: et helt specielt service-argentur, der levere post for den "mægtige"?
Kaffemafiaen siger: Authentic Critical Recursions Of Non-Yielding Meta-Schemes
brune @ 2004-10-17 18:50:23 from 89.236.59.15
Kaffemafiaen siger: Recursive Uniform Nanotechnological Expressions
Kaffemafiaen siger: Unified Liniar Modules
Rune siger: Universal Language for Metaphysic terms
Rune siger: Diistributed Unreliable Message Bus
Kaffemafiaen siger: Er det en variant af windows messenging service?
Rune siger: ja.... det er noget, der er implementeret i SlowMessageBundles
Rune siger: Crappy Information Forwarding System
Kaffemafiaen siger: Deny Transfers Uniformly
Rune siger: Distributed Unreliable Message Bus Application Scheduling Support
Kaffemafiaen siger: Sæt dit DTU flag, så blokerer du fuldkommen for data
bRunes nye færdselslove (2004-10-02 18:42:32)
brune @ 2004-10-02 18:42:32 from 192.168.1.7
§1 - det er tilladt at køre cyklister ned i mørke såfremt de ikke bærer det lovpligtige lys ell. reflekser. Det er dog ikke tilladt gentagne gange at føre køretøjet henover cyklisten.
§2 - det er tilladt at skade biler parkeret ulovligt såfremt overtrædelsen samtidig er til gene for andre. I tilfælde af en skade pådraget under en ulovlig parkering dækker forsikringen ikke lovovertræderens skade.
SYS0794 (2004-08-02 09:52:55)
brune @ 2004-08-02 09:52:55 from 192.168.1.7
Hvis du ikke allerede ved hvad der er galt, gider jeg slet ikke sige det.
Cheerleaders (2004-05-22 09:46:45)
brune @ 2004-05-22 09:46:45 from 192.168.1.201
Hvorfor er der ingen cheer-leaders på slagmarken - tænk hvad et par unge mænd iført papilietter med ponpon'er skrigende "giv mig et K! giv mig et R! giv mig et I! giv mig et G! hvad si'r det! KRIG KRIG KRIG!!!" ville gøre for troppernes moral?
I like my women like I like my coffee (2004-03-16 08:42:55)
brune @ 2004-03-16 08:42:55 from 192.168.1.201
...tied up in a burlap sack and carried across the Andes on a donkey.
// slashdot
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 130.226.31.156
I like my women like I like my coffee too. Ground up, and in the freezer
Bumper stickers (2003-09-29 17:53:22)
brune @ 2003-09-29 17:53:22 from 89.236.59.15
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
Den lille dreng og toget (2003-08-28 16:23:37)
brune @ 2003-08-28 16:23:37 from 89.236.59.15
Den her fik jeg fra Møgkael
Emne: Ret skal være ret .....

En mor stod i køkkenet og kunne derfra høre sin søn lege med tog i stuen. Hun bemærkede at toget stoppede og hørte drengen sige: "Alle i lede røvhuller der skal af må nu nok heller skynde jer af helvede til; og til idioterne der netop står på kan jeg kun sige - se så at få røven med jer, vi skal jo videre".
Den chokerede kvinde skyndte sig ind i stuen og sagde: "Vi bruger sandelig ikke den slags sprog her i huset. Som straf må du gå op på dit værelse i to timer. Derefter kan du lege med dit nye tog igen, HVIS du taler ordentligt".
To timer senere leger drengen igen med toget. Toget stopper og hun hører sin søn sige: "Til alle passagerer der nu forlader os vil jeg sige, tak for at i rejste med os og husk endelig al jeres bagage. Vi håber i har haft en behagelig rejse". Hun hørte drengen fortsætte: Til vore nye rejsende vil jeg ønske dem velkommen ombord, vi skal gøre alt hvad der er os muligt for at i vil have en behagelig rejse. Venligst find et sæde inden vi starter". Moderen begyndte stolt at smile da hun hørte drengen fortsætte: "Og er der nogen af jer røvhuller der er sure over at vi i dag kører med to timers forsinkelse kan i gå ud og tale med den fede kælling ude i køkkenet.
Vangsted motto (2003-08-25 17:20:22)
brune @ 2003-08-25 17:20:22 from 192.168.1.150
Livet er en lang lort - spørgsmålet er bare hvor store bidder man tager af den...
2nd engineering rule (2003-08-14 08:56:26)
brune @ 2003-08-14 08:56:26 from 192.168.1.150
Plan MTBF > your career.
Addams Family (2003-07-01 10:06:03)
brune @ 2003-07-01 10:06:03 from 192.168.1.150
If you are going to play fair - why play at all?
UPS (2003-06-16 15:53:25)
brune @ 2003-06-16 15:53:25 from 192.168.1.150
Ja, sådan en burde man have - det er bare ikke det der er galt... Dumme mig slettede alle DB'erne uden de obligatoriske back-ups - dumme,dumme bRune...
brune @ 2003-06-16 15:54:39 from 192.168.1.150
hvorfor sove når man kan sidde og taste data ind igen.... :,(
u @ 2009-09-27 12:13:23 from 130.226.29.22
Rigtige mænd tager ikke back-ups -- De græder
Interessant... (2003-05-02 12:13:23)
u @ 2003-05-02 12:13:23 from 192.168.1.19
http://www.jwz.org/blog/2003/05/aw-shit/